Surviving Oktoberfest As A Millennial
So you’re young, fresh in the world, and you want to know how to survive Oktoberfest? Yeah? Is that so? Well here are some key words to remember here: you won’t. Totally kidding! You’ll have a blast and end up offering your left arm at another opportunity to visit the world’s biggest beer festival. These are some tips and pointers I learned during my time in München that might help you while you’re stumbling around (and I literally mean stumbling because those steins hit your blood stream faster than you can say Lederhosen).
1. Airplane mode is your best friend.
Because you’re going to be on your phone quite often, either phoning your friends, texting that random hunk in the Lederhosen from that tent with that name that you can't seem to remember, or using your map apps, your phone is going to drain through battery at the speed of light. To prevent this, turn your phone on airplane mode when you’re with your friends and busy making person to person connections, and simply turn it off of airplane mode sporadically to check in and let people know you’re still (surprisingly) alive.
2. Pack snacks!
I think this one is kind of obvious, but if you're going to be saturating your stomach with an excess amount of beer, you're most likely (probably) going to forget to feed yourself. Even if you remember, you're going to be waiting a solid 20-30 minutes for your waitress to return with some type of food, so you better pack that extra granola bar for some much needed sustenance if the opportunity arrives.
3. Not enough hydration is your biggest limitation.
See what I did there? Clever right?? Those beer halls can become very warm as the night goes on, so be sure to find water as often as possible. Because I’m an idiot I completely forgot about basic human needs and quenched my thirst with more beer, and then I was incredibly parched the next day. Yay for good choices! Don’t be like me. Drink water.
4. Your wallet will hate you but it will be all okay.
I mean, relatively, it’ll be okay. Steins are around €10. Food also isn’t all that far off. You’re here for a good time, not a long time, splurge and buy yourself that pretzel that’s bigger than your face, you won’t regret it.
5. This is a marathon, not a sprint, don’t be that guy.
I watched plenty of people drink their fair share (and then some) of these tasty liter sized elixirs. I’ve watched people slap security, yell at taxi drivers, and get hauled off in an ambulance 15 minutes into the day. Pace. Yourself. The world will thank you for your decency.
6. If you start to feel like you have to go to the bathroom, go immediately.
Because once you stand up, the pressure on your bladder will quadruple and you will want to die. It will triple while you’re waiting in a 30+ minute bathroom line, and you will double over as flocks of women push you around vying for the next spot in line.
7. Venture outside of the beer halls to enjoy the festivities all around you!
I was floored (and not because of all the beer) when I found out Oktoberfest was so much more than a bunch of beer tents and pretzels. Carnival rides, candied nuts, and pony rides everywhere you looked. It was almost as if someone had taken the purest form of magic and sprinkled it around the entire area.
8. And last but most definitely not least: HAVE FUN!
It’s dubbed one of the greatest festivals in the world for a reason, so raise a stein and drink until you can no longer speak English!
Comments